Tuesday, March 31, 2009
HARD TO BELIEVE
Today is my youngest son's 18th Birthday..
This is something that I cannot seem to wrap my head around
I know that I am STILL not quite right after working last weekend (nightshift!)
(hopefully I will get used to the hours...must have a talk with my body...)
It has nothing to do with that, really...
It's just that it seems impossible to me that 18 years with him have passed
Everything must have been set on " fast forward", when I thought that it was set
Where was the "pause" button?
I realize that I am older, and I don't like that, but I am not hung up on it.
I do though, feel a mixture of both gratefulness and melancholy when it comes
to my son's birthday
Especially in the business that I am in, and with all I have seen, I feel very
blessed that he has reached the age of 18 in the good shape that he is in
He is a wonderful son, with a good heart, even if he IS a very difficult teenager
I adore him beyond what I can express.
I'm sure that you noticed the "birthday car" all wrapped up...
I seriously would LOVE to give him that car
I seriously would LOVE to give ME that car
I know that there ARE parents that give their kids that car
Especially in the school district where we reside..
Well, I have always felt that fantasy is extremely healthy
This is my "fantasy" gift to him
The thought of his reaction is so much fun to imagine!
Now don't feel sorry for this kid
I gave him my car when he turned 16, and it only had 60,000 miles on it
Still, it's not THIS car...
Motherhood has been the most challenging role of my life...
There have been GREAT JOYS AND LAUGHTER,
and sometimes impossibly deep and dark sadness,
fear, loneliness, and uncertainty
There is nothing else that has come close to affecting me as much as being the
Mother to two sons...
Eight years apart...different as night and day...
I have mixed feelings especially with my youngest son, growing up..
Certainly, a "loss" is felt, especially because you simply don't see them
as much anymore, and your relationship changes greatly..
Sometimes though,(not as often as I would like), an Adventurous Feeling comes
Now what will I do? Being a Mother has been my Central Role for so very long...
What on Earth will I do with myself?
Who knows what could happen..
Work, if I am lucky (and I am lucky "As We Speak"...)
Play with friends, when I/they have time...
Travel again, when the economy and my finances are a lot more stable...
Hope for some unknown horizons to open up...something that will interest me..
For my son, I wish Happiness, Good Health, Fulfillment in terms of School/Work;
that he finds a DREAM to hold onto, and that this Dream becomes his..
Strength, Faith, Friendship, Love, Wisdom ....I wish many things for him, but this is the "cliff notes" version....
On this day 18 years ago, I was blessed with this wonderful boy
It is a very special day for me as well...
We will go with my parents to eat at one of his favorite restaurants...
They serve GREAT Greek Food...
Eytyxismena Genethlia, son! (I'm not Greek, so I had to look that up )
La-breithe mhaith agat, son! (That's the "Irish-gaelic translation..I am of Irish
descent, and STILL had to look that up!)
How about good ol "Happy Birthday, son!" (now if I had to look that one up we'd
be in trouble....)