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Sunday, June 7, 2009

MISERY LOVES POETRY


Last night I went to dinner with some old friends.
We meet on average about 5-6 times/year to catch up with each others lives.
It is almost always enjoyable, as dining with old friends tends to be.

I woke up yesterday from one of my MANY daytime naps,
(working nights screws up your sleeping system completely),
and realized that I would rather get another flu shot then go to dinner.

The inevitable, "how is your new job?"; "how are things with you?" questions were just not something that I felt like dealing with.

If I could have just answered "THEY SUCK!", and be done with it, I could have handled it.

Unfortunately people always must know the details...

I'm upset about the "details"...
I'm trying to get away from the "details"...
The "details" are making me miserable...

No, it's not the patients, even though at times they can get to be a bit "much" (refer to previous post...)

In a "Cliff Notes" version of my new job...

It is sort of like a milder though still potent version of "Lord of the Flies"

Remember that book?

Thematically it basically hones in on the "world" that one lives in, being run by a bunch of hoodlums, and no one is around to monitor their actions, etc.

Unfortunately it is like one big maniacal dysfunctional family that does NOT want new members...

One finds that out pretty quickly...
They cannot wait to let you know that you are "NOT LIKED"...
That pretty much sums up the new job...

Why, I have even gotten used to some of the nurses, who as I previously mentioned, would be a "shoo-in" in the Salem "Zombie Parade" next Halloween...with a little makeup job, who knows?
With very little coaching, these women could drop right into juicy roles in "Dawn
of the Dead Part 12"...

Well, unfortunately, I NEED this job...
If you have never HAD to stay at a job where you are quite unhappy, you cannot imagine what it feels like...

Almost like what I imagine an unwilling prostitute must feel like...

You have to be careful not to completely lose your humility...your spirit...the very eccense of who you are...

Frankly, this is all a bit too much for me at this time of my life...

Thank heavens that there are books...dreams...
Sometimes they are the only things that can get you through these difficult periods
in life...
So...
Favorite books as of late...

A THREE DOG LIFE by Abigail Thomas

NOT BECOMING MY MOTHER (and other things she taught me along the way)
by Ruth Reichl

JULIE AND JULIA by Julie Powell (reread because the movie is coming out, with a screenplay by Nora Ephron, starring Meryl Streep as a young Julia Childs)

SAVAGE BEAUTY (reread because I love it) by Nancy Milford about the life of
Edna St.Vincent Millay

And my newest favorite...didn't want this one to end!
I LOVED, I LOST, I MADE SPAGHETTI
by Giulia Melucci

Now for the dreaming part...it's not really dreaming...I just have not decided...
though "dreaming" about it always makes me feel better...

In the Fall I will go somewhere that makes me feel happy...

I just got through telling my older son that one should be "happy" wherever they
are..as happiness is INSIDE!
Well rehearsed parental BS...

Anyway...

I may go back to Boston perhaps, or very possibly, Montreal and Old Quebec City...
Am researching it now...MUST get passport

Don't get to take a very long vacation until Fall...
Until then, can only take 3 day off...

Plenty of time to fly to San Francisco, or visit my friend in Colorado

ANYTHING!!!!!

MUST ESCAPE WHENEVER POSSIBLE!!!!

Sorry this was not a more "cheerful" little passage....

Must revert to telling you stories of interest from the past until the present
is a prettier picture...

And now for the poetic side of me....




A POEM FOR THE PITIFUL
(or how to write something completely childish and feel much better afterwards...)


So you say
they don't like me.
Well, it's not
hard to see
that hurting
one's feelings
comes easily
to thee

Wish I could
tell you
"just go
get in line"
with all of
the rest of
the ignorant
swine.

But finding
a job
is too hard
to repeat.
I guess I'll
stay here
amongst
big smelly feet

I'll listen
to banter
so childish
and vain,
then come back
tomorrow
for more
of the same.

I vow
to be silent.
Don't have
much to share,
with those
who are rude
and are
missing
some
hair

Okay,
so it's not nice
to call you all
"swine"
With hair that is
thinning,
and smelly feet...
Fine!

A "Tet for a Tat"
Isn't that
how it goes?
One MUST not forget
to make
fun
of your
nose...

Is that one
a fake?
Oh c'mon
say it's so.
Tis a pity
the face
that must
wear it,
ya know..

Ah,
NOW I FEEL BETTER!
Why didn't I see
that poetry works
in such
strange ways
for me?....

Much better
than fighting
and stronger
than wine.
Don't care
if it's silly...
For laughter's
DIVINE!!!!

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