Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"NOT THROUGH" (A POEM OF TRUTH AND SHAME)




"NOT THROUGH"


i know that you're out there
reduced now to lurking
you could have been here
with a love that was working

decisions are difficult
morally driven
but you've only one lifetime
to enjoy what i've given
to you and you only
though carelessly tossed
away like the garbage
a treasure you've lost

if you are still listening
to what i have said
just give me some sign
so i'll know you're not dead

and i don't mean "dead"
as in "perished", for good
i would be more careful
with words, if i could

it's not smart to write
about you,
don't you know?
i'll answer no questions
from friends or from foes

the last words
he said to her
"My Heart Is Yours"
has left her
with feelings
reminiscent of whores

your thoughts were seductive
your words filled my heart
you made me feel lovely
and desirably smart

"you ought to know better"
the critics agree
who listens to critics?
about films...
but not ME

can't you find a way
to still let me know
or were promises made
that won't let you go?

i cannot give up
what was almost mine
give me an option
show me a sign

begging is pitiful
won't do for me
but turning away
is too final, you see

i rarely have feelings
so utterly strange
so wrong, so forbidden,
unlikely to change

not easy to leave me
and yet all the while
you've made your decision
to live in denial

once there were two people
their love fraught with pain
pursuing a dream
of together
in vain

nicole 4/14/09

2 comments:

Rico said...

I hope that's not me lol :) lovely poem and very extensive. Was a good read and I enjoyed how you played with the words.. well done. :)

Nicole said...

Rico,
So very glad that you enjoyed it...Nope, the poem's recipient will remain a mystery...Even to me at this point...
Playing with words is one of the aspects of writing that I love best....Thanks for your appreciation!
Nicole